Such is life

Wow... time goes by so fast.

This pregnancy has been emotionally draining.

The affair has really fucked around with my head, its so hard to determine somedays if Im feeling the way I am because Im hormonal from being pregnant, or if it is what Im really feeling.

Some days I feel this pent up anger, its insane, I feel as though I could kill Craig and I hate him with every part of my body.

Other days I tear up and tears roll down my face because I love him so much.
Im putting that down to being emotional.

Our relationship is flowing nicely, he's being everything I need him to be, mature,compassionate, understanding and level headed. He's a fabulous father, and I don't think I could have asked for a better person to Father my kids.

It's an awful thing to have happened to our relationship and to me as a person, but I guess in the long run it's a big lesson to learn from for both of us.

I still lack in the trust department, like today he's gone fishing with a mate for the day, and this stupid little crazy part of me thinks he's snuck off to be with her, which is just absolutely crazy. I can only imagine it will take months, maybe even years to build back up the trust, and I doubt it will EVER be anything like what we used to have.

But, such is life.

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